Afterwards - Charlotte Leonard

Genre: Contemporary Fiction

Release Date: Expected 14th April 2022

Publisher: Simon and Schuster UK

"This is not what I imagined would come afterwards."

Emma came home that day to find flowers. The groceries were packaged away neatly, the kitchen was clean, the peppercorns she'd asked him to buy refilled on the counter. And her husband Jay, dead in the bedroom.

He'd remembered the peppercorns, but forgotten to stay alive.

Now in a blur of police questions, empty platitudes and funeral planning, she wants to kill him for killing himself. For leaving her there without explanation. She's lost, angry and confused. But then she finds the photographs on his camera - Jay was a beautiful photographer, and this was definitely his work but there's something weird about his final photographs. And Emma knows she'll never be able to move on until she shines a light on the hidden parts of Jay he'd kept in the dark for so long.

"I wonder if I cry enough my heart will finally disappear, just dissipate, evaporate and leave my lifeless, less in pain."

Afterwards is a heart-wrenching tale exploring the many faces of loss - the violence and anger and fractures it can leave in it's wake. Not only journeying inwards at the reality of survivors guilt, it also has a unique morbid humour throughout because sometimes all you can do is laugh at the ridiculousness of life and death.

It was written like a fever dream, floating between memory and reality - the writing was fragmented and broken but still managed to maintain a poetic flow from start to finish, full of stunning small details that set a scene so intense and visceral.

Now, there were parts of this story that were uncomfortable - at times it felt like the author was portraying negative stereotypes of homosexuality, but it also needs to be considered that these words are coming from a character consumed by grief and not thinking clearly about others.

Emma's journey sees her leaving her city, exploring her husbands childhood haunts and friends, and learning more about him than she'd ever known - all while trying to figure out what comes afterwards. The entire journey was handled with sensitivity and honesty that created a truly striking tale.

⭐⭐⭐⭐

I was gifted an advanced reviewers copy of this title in return for an honest review.

CW: death, suicide, drinking, mentions of abortion and fertility.

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