When she’s having sex with her boss, Iris likes to have the lights on so he can see how much younger she is than his wife. She likes watching her colleagues eat unhealthy lunches at their desk while her stomach aches with emptiness. She likes coasting at work knowing she’s going to land a big promotion anyway.
So why when it arrives does she find herself sprawled on her hallway floor, crying uncontrollably? Why, instead of a sense of triumph, does a crippling depression threaten to overwhelm her? Why does the support and stability of her family and friends feel so suffocating? And why, torn between her flatmate George – good, kind, reliable George – and cold, indifferent Patrick, does she only seem capable of making choices that cause her pain?
A brave, beautiful and authentic portrayal of a young woman struggling with mental illness and searching for meaning; Everyone I Know is Dying is not exactly an enjoyable or easy read, but it’s an impactful and important one.
Our main character, Iris, was magnificent in her honesty and the way she was laid bare to the reader; it was clear she saw the world through a distorted lens that lends an almost dreamlike notion to her storytelling, looking for her own truths in the reflections of other people and how they see her, desperately clinging to anything that looks remotely like joy for the moment it lasts. Despite her authenticity and openness, she’s also a blatantly unreliable narrator because it’s clear she doesn’t even know herself and I couldn’t help but hope for her to find and love herself for real. At times she’s outright unlikeable, relishing in doing things that make her feel better than others but look a little deeper and you can see the warped logic and social standards that have shaped her to think that way.
Between her experiences with suicidal idealisation and mental illness, and the crushing social pressures of existing as a woman in the modern age, you can feel the suffocation and isolation that has seeped into her life and her mind.
It’s almost mundane, in a quite stunning way - the book is slow, pedestrian; just a woman trying to live her life when her mind is turned against her. Although at times the pace was a bit too lacklustre and some readers may find it.
An impressive and powerful story but definitely literary marmite. Thankfully, I love marmite.
- I was gifted an advanced reviewers copy of this title in return for a review.
- This title contains subjects that may be triggering to certain readers including mentions of eating disorders and suicidal ideation.
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